Wow, I haven't updated the world (or at least this little blogging world) about the last few months. There are lots of possibilities of why...but I'm really not sure. It isn't that I've lost inspiration. Israel has not stopped being Israel and I have not stopped being fascinated. It isn't because nothing noteworthy has happened. I've celebrated holidays, turned 25, went on tiyuls (trips), ate delicious food, met famous Israelis, etc, etc. It also isn't because I'm not writing. I have countless notes on my iPhone written during bus rides that ended up being twice as long as they should have.
I'm not sure what to attribute to my lack of blogging. I think it is something like laziness and tiredness. Everyone who knows me knows I WORK A LOT. It can be frustrating to tears at times, but it is also rewarding. However, I find myself in a rut many modern day adults find themselves in. I work and my personal life has disappeared. Not even the "extra" parts of a personal life - spending time with friends, traveling, having fun. I'm talking about having time and/or energy to wash my dishes, make a proper meal, do my laundry. I rarely even speak to my friends or family back in the states because I'm home by 8 and in bed by 10. It sounds depressing because it is.
But in the last couple weeks I've been pushing myself to change this. I've decided that having fun, keeping in touch with my loved ones, and things of that nature, are NOT EXTRA. I can no longer think of them in these terms. I must think of them as necessary to my well-being, because they are. So in my new schedule for my life I do dishes on these days, laundry on this day, cook food on these days, take Mindy to the dog park on this day, and go to at least one purely social, non-work-related thing per week. There are still late nights in the office on occasion but I really try to leave the office by 7, 8 at the very latest. The rest of the work will get finished the next day. This I am learning from the other people I work with. Their professional advice has been very valuable.
It can be scary to set goals for yourself for fear of failure. I think that is one reason why it is so easy to get stuck in the cycle of overworking. Work goals come with clearer outcomes of success. If my boss or the CEO is happy with my work then I am encouraged to keep doing what I'm doing, staying longer and longer hours. At home there is no cheerleader. The only person who will pat me on the back for cleaning the kitchen is me. (Mindy doesn't even care because she doesn't eat on dishes.)
It has only been 2 weeks of this new practice for my life. But with every "accomplishment" I am gaining momentum. That is part of why I'm writing this somewhat disjointed blog post. I figure, if I at least write and publish something then I will feel accomplished; and that motivates me to continue the practice. So blogging more again is a goal. Reading more again is a goal. Doing arts & crafts again is a goal. Congratulating myself for the things I am accomplishing more, and getting down on myself for the things I haven't gotten done less, is a goal.
(All of this talk of goals is reminding me that one of my goals is to watch Eurocup!)